don't be a cock

so you all know about my stupid ex-housemate. he's not staying with us anymore.. and i thought i'll finally have some peace and quiet this semester. but nooo.. he had to piss me off again. it's about the utility bill la.. but that's not the point. it's what he posted on fb that pissed me off.

- when someone tries to get money out of u...first they lie...and when the lie is exploited they reason...and when the reasoning is flawed they whine...wonder what the hell is wrong with them -

we(roh and i) attached the bill and showed him the calculations. everything was laid out for him to see. tell me in what way we lied? more like argued the whole way la.. well, we did try to start with reasoning but you can understand my frustration when people don't understand simple english. in the end, they make up their own story and just trap themselves in that pathetic tiny bubble. i also want to ask him what the hell is wrong with him. i don't know why he thinks we're out to cheat his money, because seriously i don't need his stinking cash! just who does he thinks he is? the audacity he has to accuse me of something like that just really makes my blood boil. it's my integrity he's playing at now, and i'm seriously not happy. this is no longer just at my financial expanse ok and i'm definitely not going to allow that to happen. i will demand that he pays his share even if it's a measly $20. why the heck should i penalise myself in this situation, right?

he says he don't want to pay for 'things he didn't use'... i mean, when he was around and the only one cooking, we also split the gas bill 3-ways what. we also had to pay for things we didn't use. he and his petty little mind cannot seem to fathom that he is making things VERY difficult for us despite his claims of 'not trying to be difficult'. i really had enough of all his crap, and so has roh. we definitely don't need such nonsense to mess up our happy lives and i'm determined to see that through.

anyway, tell you something quite funny. he finally deleted me from fb. HAHA! stupid childish moron. he deleted roh long time ago la.. that's not surprising. then i found out that he blocked me from his wall after a while. just more recently(last night in fact), i found out he blocked pow even! maybe because the last time he posted something, i also heard about it. but anyways, this time my friend(who wishes to remain anonymous) saw it and told me about it. i mean seriously, how many people does he want to block from his wall..? damn childish la. and today i confronted him about the bill issue.. by mid day, he deleted me as a friend. it's official then... he's no longer my friend. yay! (well, that's the only positive thing i can get out of this whole episode)

while typing this entry, i suddenly remembered these famous words, as spoken by my bbf.. DON'T BE A COCK. very appropriate for this loser i must say. thanks for the words of wisdom ben.

what a load of crap!

remember the unhappy housemate issue i mentioned a while back..? well, there are some updates. apparently, the news travelled back to singapore and it's making me damn pissed.

about a week back, gabriel msn-ed me. initially i thought he was going to talk to me about the issue, given that he's always been like my big brother but he didn't mention it at all. i figured it was probably hard for him to start on the topic since he knows what kind of temper i have. then more recently, david msn-ed me. david.. whom i believe i've not talked to on msn for more than 5 times, came and started a conversation with me. started with small talk, then he gave his comments about the issue. it wasn't much la, he just said..

"apparently things are not going too well over at the apartment"

"we did talk to kyler a few wks back"

"he also shared his feelings... heh"

"but i guess u are kinda like the middleman that got pulled into the problem"

"oh well... lets hope it will turn out fine"

my replies were mostly one word answers because i really didn't want to talk about it.. not when he's only got one side of the story. he's probably just concerned for his friend and he didn't lecture me, so i'm cool.

i just found out that this is now the talk of the class. but everything is just kyler's side of the story. i won't fail to mention names (or name rather) this time because i don't think he deserves any of my respect. to any of my fellow schoolmates who are reading/may hear about this, please don't come to me and tell me to work things out. the fact is that kyler choose not to even try and work it out. things weren't going his way and that was enough reason to pull out. so technically, there's was nothing i could do. all the sad things that you hear happening to him are all his own doings. he chose to leave our project group and join others. he chose to not get white bulbs for his room when roh and i offered to split the cost of it and then complain that he has to sit at the dining table to do work because his room is not bright enough.

i could go on forever but i really can't be bothered. i'm not trying to act like the victim and i most definitely don't need any sympathy votes. i find kyler hypocritical and petty and that's the opinion i'm entitled to have. as long as you have no problem with my warped opinion, i'll be fine with yours.

happy birthday.. and a not-so-pleasant story

happy birthday to me.. yay! erm ya.. that was some time last last week. anyway, it was delightful thanks to my dear friends.

the surprise sprang on me during half-time between chelsea and stoke.

(erm.. excuse the towel-wrapped head. better to focus on the ARSENAL jersey.)

my 'banana something' cake from miss maud.

i love the candles.. don't you? thanks pow!

pow insisted on a photo with his present.

dinner at dragon palace...

peking duck. taste so good!

ohh.. this was good too.

king prawn with onion and carrot in butter sauce. slurps!

our dinner was a 'banquet for 2', so it came with dessert and everything. it was kind of pricey i would say.. but pow said it was worth it.

i really like my presents this year... (:

from pow...

from jerry, doh and eijean. (:

kikki k post-its, stationary holder, card and scented candles.

and 2 days later.. it was pow's birthday. (: we tried to surprise him.. but it didn't work. anyway...

i don't think it's very obvious but the flame is actually red.

some coloured candles i bought from freo..

my present for pow.

eijean's present!

doh couldn't stop laughing for almost a whole minute.

my boyfriend is such a great sport.

and here's the leopard print briefs. HAHA!

second birthday away from home and i suddenly realise how fast time flies. this year is it man.. the do-or-die. by the way, thank you to all the lovely people who sent their wishes!

well, the not-so-happy part is due to house issues. housemate issues to be more precise. the problem is not with me though.. it's a problem my other 2 housemates are having. it became my problem when one of them couldn't just be a man and suck it all in. he decides he wants to move out when the lease ends (after we've all pretty discussed and settled on staying here till end of the year) and childishly also announced that he will be joining another group to do a project because he, and i quote, "cannot see eye-to-eye with" my other housemate.

i have no issues with any of them.. of course living together with 'friends' is going to create some friction. different lifestyles and habits what.. i understand. i'm upset because he left me in the lurch.. so to speak. i feel betrayed and made use of by him and it really frustrates me because i have to fend for myself now. i've planned earlier in the year to prevent something like that from happening.. i've even told them something like that is likely to happen so we've decided to 'work it out' the best we can. he didn't do his part. he just decided he's not happy and wants out.

i told him off.. (maybe i was more upset than angry at that time, so i wasn't totally horrible when confronting him) i told him that he's selfish, petty and extremely childish. i didn't just throw those adjectives in his face la.. i explained why.

well.. i'll have to take things one step at a time now. see what happens next semester.

life's not fair

i've quite had it. more and more people are passing comments which suggest i'm lazy or that i sleep too much. come on, this is totally unfair la! who are you so criticise me like that? it's fine that i'm abruptly awaken by their calls or smses.. but just because it's after 10am, the first thing that people always say is "wah.. pig ah you?" (or something along that line.. you know what i mean). worst if you call and then tell me you'll call back later after i "wake up". please la.. the fact i answered means i've already awakened.. so just talk to me la. it's honestly not my fault that my sleeping hours are different from most people. i'm just fortunate i don't have to wake up at 6am and drag my ass to work/school. have these people also thought for a second that there are millions of others around the world who are also still snoozing when they get up. so why just judge me? it probably didn't cross their minds that i usually sleep after 3am, sometimes later. so be realistic.. waking up at 11am only means i'm getting roughly 6-7 hours of sleep. reasonable what! ok.. i do admit i tend to sleep in. but don't pass judgmental statements along with your assumptions. if you happen to be feeling slightly guilty right now.. just stop the comments ya (even if you're 'joking'.. if you know me well, you will know i don't have a very lame sense of humour). i realise i'm sounding extremely pissed but i'm just ranting. anyway, for your information, these comments are from friends.. some close ones even. so yea.. i'm not angry at anyone in particular.. just a little frustrated with this whole issue, it's just all-so-demoralising.

feel much better now that i'm done ranting. thanks for bearing with me. (:

mind your own business

some things are bothering me. and i can't keep it in anymore.

rumour : a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts

having your own opinions and ideas are great, in fact, i really don't care what you think. don't go around assuming you know how things work just because you think you've heard or seen enough, because you really know nothing. good for you if you like to share your thoughts with random others but take into consideration to whom you're speaking to and more importantly, the relevance of what you're saying. i don't comprehend what pleasure or fulfillment you get from hearing people agree with the things you share but if such gratification is what you're seeking (or worse still, the only thing you seek).. then i say, screw you. honestly, just grow up and get a life. actually no, my advise would be.. stop existing and start living.

think i sound angry.. ya i am. but don't even bother asking.. just mind your own business!

study matters

no more exams. let's just say it's over.. no pun intended. i want to go australia so bad! my mind is set on going, by this year or the next.. unless something bigger comes along (and it might already have). based on my calculations, just living expanses alone could cost me between $8325 and $10030 a year. i did some 'research' and here's a shocking find, the rooms are not air-conditioned. ok, maybe not so shocking. it's more like a.. erm.. turnoff for me. the whole 'going to aussie to live and study for 3 years' idea is very attractive but no air-con, man.. what a spoiler. chances of me going are rather high i would say. i'm seeing alot more support now than a month ago. term over there is starting in march, which is a tad rush for me. arrangements have to be made, matters need settling and of course much preparation awaits if i'm going for the full course.

i really had enough of psb. seriously, their system doesn't work. and it's ruining our future (i speak for my fellow classmates who have suffered with me). the quality of lectures we get is.. oh man, don't even get me started. confusion and miscommunication time and time again, wouldn't you get frustrated too. it's such a freaking small organization, get yourselves together already! my evalution form had the same responses as the last one. oh pardon me, worse actually. i really don't want to be mean but it's just insufferable, and i do not plan on tolerating such nonsense anymore. so, to australia it is.

something's been bugging me and today was nearly too much for me to take.

had an interesting conversation with marcus during lunch today. he's usually such an immature joker, but he suddenly became this 'wise old man'. haha. listening to all his stories was kind of intriguing.. and it actually amazed me quite abit. funny fellow he is. still.. thanks for listening. and for being that friend who watches my back.

can't take it anymore. like seriously! i've never seen a pettier guy.

miss having recess with my girlfriends and sleeping in class/library during free periods.

just blogged my previous entry about 4 hours ago. wrote that at gabriel's place. some of us went over to countdown. talk about a 'not-so-good closing'.. hmph, it's more like absolutely horrendous! right now i'm so upset i can't even mention it. gosh.. i must seriously do certain major changes in my life. now i understand when they say friends come and go. sigh.. God help me.

so much for my first entry of 2007. it's as though i've fallen into the never ending 'pit of emo-ness'.. what a way to start things!

happy new year to all.

i've missed many opportunities to blog. usually it slips my mind.. other times, i'm just distracted by other stuffs.

i'm tired after steamboat at rach's but there are a few must-mentions before i get my beauty sleep.
1) germany beat portugal 3-1, i'm really glad. schweinsteiger and kahn were tremendous! klose too.. =)
2) france lost to italy during the finals. i cried. i don't want to sound like a sore loser but.... "UNDESERVING ITALIANS!!(i apologise for my behaviour). beautiful header by my ever-dearest zidane. i was reading straits times on tuesday.. the life section. there were 3 uber bad articles about zidane. mindless correspondents, the kind of nerves they have to say that zidane didn't deserve the golden ball award!! what unprofessionals.. they won't being objective. i'll miss zidane on the field during the next worldcup..
3) daddy's going to get me a 30GB ipod video. hooray. it's hard to express myself with just words.. sorry if i sound casual but i'm truly elated beyond my imagination.

birthdays and more birthdays coming.. but i'm going to make myself happy by watching pirates next week with the girls. ciao.

someone's complaining that i don't update my blog.. really sorry about that, just don't have the time. season has kicked off.. and i'm having difficulties catching up with my work. wish all this is over soon.

pj hockey girls played against sajc on thursday. we lost 1-0. the team was quite upset, because we could have played much better. personally, it was an especially disapponting match for me. it's not that i made any major boo-boos, but i underperformed... BIG TIME! =(

apparently, i(right mid-field) wasn't communicating enough with jocelyn(the centre mid-field).. hence there weren't enough chances for us to play along the right side because we couldn't link up our passes. even if the ball did manage to come to our side.. my passes were like trash(one even went straight to the opponent), if not i wasn't able to stop the ball properly etc. it was really horrible!

ohh... during the 1st half, my retarded skirt gave me so much problems lah. urghh.. it's quite hard to explain here but try to bear with me. well, our skirts are seriously the ugliest and most useless part of our uniform. for starters, it's not even a proper skirt, it's just a piece of cloth we wrap around our waist. it's held by a strap of valcro and a buckle thingy. unfortunately for us.. the size was wrong and it was too small, so for most of us.. the skirt is too tight(thus also too short). blah blah blah.. i got distracted by my stupid skirt because the buckle thingy came off like 15 minutes into the game.. (thanks man!) sigh... our jersey this year is super hideous! we look more like cheerleaders than hockey players.

when playing defense during the 1st half, everyone kept telling me to mark my player in the D area.. (ok, this one was partly my fault) i WAS marking my player.. but i kept some distance between us. it slipped my mind that we were suppose to do tight-marking in the top D.. so everybody was screaming at me to "MARK YOUR MAN!!". faz(our goalie), ain(right back), ms ho(coach) from the sideline and even tiff(my senior) who was standing with the spectators.. it was as though they planned it all, each of them took turns to tell me the same thing. i got really frustrated because i didn't understand what's wrong lah.. sigh.

i think i really performed below ms ho's expectations. think she wanted alot more from me. during stretching, she kept looking at me even though she was talking to the whole team. it wasn't just eye contact can.. she literally stood in front of me, stared into my eyes, telling it in my face when the team was standing in a circle. gosh...! she was saying something about "you've got to give it your all today" when she stood in front of me.. imagine how awkward is that can! everyone was looking. but that's not the worst yet... after that, ms ho did it again. but the 2nd time wasn't that obvious, she just stood near me and said "kristy, now's your time to shine".. she had the kind of sinister smile.. so i sort of just smiled back at her.. but in my heart i was like "WHAT CRAP!!" goodness.. does she know how pressurizing that sounds? well, back to the game. so in the end, she took me out after about 15 minutes into the second half and i didn't get to play the rest of it. =((

monday's our game against acjc.. God please help us beat them! i'm trying to visualise the final score of 3-0!! ahhhhh..... i didn't know tournament would be so hard!!! oh.. the game on monday is 3pm at delta sports complex.. if you support pj, please do come! if not.. don't let me catch you cheering for acjc when i'm playing. thanks...

it's been a rather emotional week. i'm not refering to major, sudden outbursts.. just having alot of mixed feelings lately. goodness knows why. sometimes i just feel sad out of the blue.. usually happens when i'm stoning.. or waiting. will have flashbacks occasionally, and these memories make me sad. not that they are sad memories, some are nice ones.. but they remind me of certain things that are no longer the way it was, hence the sadness. a few times it was anger.. realised i've been quite moody these past days. easily frustrated.. and thus leading to indifference when that happens. urgh, but i can't help it. i don't like it at all.. hate to be unhappy! worst thing is.. this feeling has compounded within the week.

a thought suddenly crossed my mind.. could i be suffering from depression? haha.. hmm, think not. but i hope i get out of this state i'm in now. maybe it's because i'm turning into a mugger.. and i mean i true-blue mugger! dajie made a new rule in the house.. raisa and i have to study at least 3 hrs per day before we can lay our hands on the computer. all of a sudden i have to cut away about 60% of my entertainment cum social life.. seems like a reason to feel upset. however, i like to study.. so i guess it's not so valid. hmm... oh! maybe i know the cause afterall, started because of an incident during prom. but i shan't talk about it here.

i want school to start like now!!! to get my mind off things. it would be more comforting if i were to be starting a new semester in NUS.. but i guess being a j2 in pj will have to do for now.

why are some people so hard up for power and recognition? some are so desperate that they are willing to suck up to others just to get it. i pity these people.. they are the kind who go to people, unlike these who are really cool, and people go to them instead. is it really that nice to be 'up there'? it seems like you'll just get a nice title, along with the workload and responsibilities. no offense to those who are leaders.. i mean, if you have the passion and what it takes to make it, go for it! but if you're doing it for your own pathetic selfish ambitions or goodness-knows-what-you-have-in-mind.. then you really ought to be ashamed of yourself!!

apologises for anyone who's reading this.. i'm not in the best of moods today. just so you know.. i had hockey training today. i'm not in a foul mood.. but i just don't feel too happy.

.............. i'm comtemplating whether or not to write what i'm about to write into this entry.
..................................................................................... alright, i think i shall.

i'm upset at the girls hockey team. recently, certain stuff has been going on and it's causing some sort of politics within the team. the committee people are starting to form their clique.. and it's beginning to get on everyones' nerves. well, not that they weren't already the best of friends since the committee was formed.. just that now, it's getting annoying because they are stuck together ALL THE TIME!! they are forever in their own world.. leaving the rest out of everything. the team is super big can.. for crying out loud, call yourselves committee members. i sincerely think they failed miserably! the team is falling apart.. not on the surface, it ain't that serious yet.. but many individuals has been complaining about the "famous five".

here's a short introduction on them..
1) captain
2) vice-captain
3) team manager
4) quarter mistress
5) treasurer
note : no names will be mentioned.. it just doesn't seem right if i did.

anyway.. what really pisses me is that they don't even try to work things out with the team even though it's super duper obvious that their clique is getting kind of.. too clique-ish. during the first training after promos.. we had a little meeting. some ideas were being suggested.. stuff like 'what do you think if we formed study groups? is it a good idea? we really want you guys to do well...' what crap?! ok.. maybe they did mean well. but they actually have the cheek to even suggest 'forming study groups'.. when they already had their little "hockey-committee people-study group" even before promos. how dumb lah.. do they think we're blind. like who won't notice a group of hockey people staying back almost every week night in the classroom at the back of school.. i mean, if you see who's in the class.. you'll agree too. well, maybe not everyone is in committee.. but that's only for they guys. as for the girls.. it's always, i repeat, always.. 100% of the time, just the 5 of them. so much about that, then they also discussed about having chalet during the holidays.. how cool right? it's so the members can get to know each other better. but last week.. the 5 of them stayed over at one of their house's. they came for trainings together and left together. ok.. i know i'm sounding rather unreasonable now.. but if you were there to see it for yourself, it really is quite irksome. i mean, couldn't they be more sensitive? just take today's training for example.. only the 5 of them, ain, ida and i turned up. during one of our breaks.. they were already talking about where to go for dinner.. in front of the 3 of us, and they obviously didn't have the slightest intention of asking us along. seriously lah.. how thick can one be? we just sat there silently.. duh!

there's a certain someone of the "famous five" who i can't stand.. refer to (4.). suling and co will know. it's as though she has something against me.. for wanting to steal her best friend (1.) or something. here's abit of history.. (1.) is my classmate. and because of that, (4.) seems to think i'm close to her or something. feeling threatened(i suppose), she becomes slightly unfriendly after a while. eg, (1.) and i are sitting at the same table during break on a normal school day. she walks past our table, acknowledging the presence of (1.) but completely ignoring me. i'm nearer to (4.) by the way.. bullshit right? sigh... what a twit! she should have gotten her info right first before turning into such a creep. now i classify her as my enemy. there there, i'm not going to make a voodoo doll and start cursing her.. i haven't got the time. God says 'love your enemies'.. so i just leave it to God. she annoys me, that's all.. i don't hate her. she had some problem with her ankle during the last training.. i was even kind enough to ask her how is it.. and i was sincere ok!

urrgghhhh! i'm really starting to wonder should i just play for recreation.. just can't imagine having to play for a team with such members. the thing is.. i really like the game, and i want to play for pj next year. hopefully, if i train hard enough, i'll be able to make it to the team. now i'm slacking abit because of all that's happening. it's draining away all my enthusiasm. trainings are every monday, wednesday and friday.. sometimes i feel suling's right, i ought to just quit hockey.. it's taking up so much of my precious time. but how will i ever get to be in touch with this game again.. sigh... that's why i'm in a dilemma. Holy Spirit tell me what to do...... this sucks, totally!