Thursday, 30 October 2008

guys are dumb, period.

a couple of things i see around quite often lately.. and i need to get it off my chest. well, last week someone mentioned.. there's a little girl in every woman. kristy says.. there's little girl for the parents, little woman for the man she loves and respect, and miss independent for the rest of the world. every girl wants to be the princess who falls in love with her prince charming.. and i admit i'm no exception. but things ain't like what it used to be anymore because prince charming left no descendents. boo hoo! well, have no fear.. miss independent is here. some woman are followers while some are not. i am the former. she has ruled my lovelife the past 21 years and i am quite thankful she did, not counting the few intrusions from prince "alarming" (aka pseudo 'prince-charming's). she fended me well. however, miss independent can be quite a bitch at times.. and that frustrates me. i want to get rid of her but looking around, i figured i'll be better off with her rather than supporting little woman. i tried to let little woman take over.. seriously! but it makes me feel so... weak, defeated and reliant. and i thought it would be everything else.. phfft. perhaps i thought wrong.. or maybe it's just unrealistic of me to have certain expectations.

guys are just plain dumb (when it comes to certain matters) and i am not saying this in retrospect. i have my reasons for making such a statement (and if you're thinking it's because i got hurt by some jerk or something.. no, that's not it). who needs a pussy for a man?! currently, there's quite abit of hype to get attached. heard some people saying it's all starting to get a little overrated. i think the term 'overrated' itself is a downright understatement. the dating game is no longer fun.. they expected you to play it a certain way and abide by their rules. please stop killing the bantering and spontaneousness! i have had quite enough.. so my decision is to give miss independent her throne back. little woman can go sit one corner and continue being little.. or, she could jolly well dig a hole and bury herself because miss independent is here to stay.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

if i were a boy...

by beyonce

if i were a boy
even just for a day
i’d roll outta bed in the morning
and throw on what i wanted then go
drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
i’d kick it with who i wanted
and i’d never get confronted for it
cause they’d stick up for me

if i were a boy
i think i could understand
how it feels to love a girl
i swear i’d be a better man
i’d listen to her
cause i know how it hurts
when you lose the one you wanted
cause he’s taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed

if i were a boy
i would turn off my phone
tell everyone it’s broken
so they’d think that i was sleeping alone
i’d put myself first
and make the rules as i go
cause i know that she’d be faithful
waiting for me to come home

if i were a boy
i think i could understand
how it feels to love a girl
i swear i’d be a better man
i’d listen to her
cause i know how it hurts
when you lose the one you wanted
cause he’s taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed

it’s a little too late for you to come back
say it's just a mistake
think i’d forgive you like that
if you thought i would wait for you
you thought wrong

but you’re just a boy
you don’t understand
how it feels to love a girl someday
you wish you were a better man
you don’t listen to her
you don’t care how it hurts
until you lose the one you wanted
cause you’ve taken her for granted
and everything you have got destroyed
but you’re just a boy

initmacy, honesty, commitment, you, me, us. i like this new song. slightly emo though.. especially if you've been through something similar before. beyonce is super babe la. on a separate note, there was buffet with ben. but today got special guest... moxi! haha. i think we should do this more often.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

dose of milk(media)

elger(my boss) likes to watch videos on youtube while in the office.. mostly music videos and stuff. when he see something nice or funny, he'll ask me to come watch also. here's a few .. have fun!

see if you remember this? damn old school. pretty unconventional speech.. i like!

this one is really freaking funny!! i laughed so hard when i saw it the first time. elger, who was watching it the "don't know how many" time, was also laughing as loudly. haha..

kenya west's live performance of love lockdown. very cool.. the way he did this song. the red flashing heart in the dark during the verse, then the lights and drums come in at the chorus. wicked stuff.

there's still alot more but.. well, i don't think it's very appropriate to load them up here. jimmy kimmel and sarah silverman got me good man. haha! oh, daniel brought FFVI dvd to office last friday, so that very sian afternoon.. we gathered around and watched scenes from the movie. the animation is fantasic! i wasn't aware how much detail goes into it until dan explained. it's fun to work in a design company.. i learn something new everyday. told you i have cool bosses. (:

daniel gave me a lift to yishun stadium today and i stayed back to watch his match since i had time on my hands. (sidetrack: oh, everyone in milkmedia plays basketball.. except tyler. milk has its own team can!) dan's actually quite good.. just a tad violent. having seen him play, it got me wondering how elger will perform on court? haha!

Monday, 27 October 2008

a little something else..

i stole this from xenia's blog. mini cam-whoring session with her and marcus.. haha! particularly like this shot. love every minute i spend with this girl. (:

i think the song is getting to me.. plus the entry jiayu wrote about her poopy. i want my best friends back! i know the 'friends will come and go' thingy, now the problem is that they have gone but no new ones came. it makes life seem incomplete.. and slightly jaded. to have someone you can count on, someone who listens, someone whom you are not afraid to cry out loud in front of, someone who will try to understand, someone who says you are awesome and sincerely mean it.. you have no idea how quite badly i hope to meet this 'someone' right this moment.

Sunday, 26 October 2008


busy busy weekend. and despite tomorrow being a public holiday, i still have to pop by milk media to rush work. well, i'm making an effort to go for the cg outing.. although i know i'll be dead tired. but i want to have my 'holiday'.. so i shall enjoy my trip to the zoo!

went for service today and yes, i sat next to jiayu. she's very shy.. but i think that was partially a result of tuckered out kristy. now she thinks i'm fierce.. but i promised to be on my best behaviour the next time i see her. anyway, the service was awesome. nothing beats service in jurong church. since my first year in church, i've started giving to the building fund. and although i don't get to go on stage to share about how many hundreds and thousands of dollars the Lord has blessed me back with.. He has done miracles for me every time, even before i gave. no exception this time round. pledging week is coming up. i'm ready.. at least i think i am. it's going to be rough but i have faith because God has proven Himself worthy.

my current playlist consists of alot of different music.. mamma mia, jay chou.. oh, raisa introduced "the call". and the latest addition is 'guns and roses' and 'sinatra'.

the call by regina spektor (from the chronicles of narnia: prince caspian soundtrack)

it started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then turned into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word
and then that word grew louder and louder
till it was a battle cry

i'll come back
when you call me
no need to say goodbye

just because everything's changing
doesn't mean it's never been this way before
all you can do is try to know who your friends are
as you head off to the war
pick a star on the dark horizon
and follow the light

you'll come back
when it's over
no need to say good bye
you'll come back
when it's over
no need to say good bye

now we're back to the beginning
it's just a feeling and no one knows yet
but just because they can't feel it too
doesn't mean that you have to forget
let your memories grow stronger and stronger
till they're before your eyes

you'll come back
when they call you
no need to say good bye
you'll come back
when they call you
no need to say good bye

enough said. if you let me interpret the lyrics, i'd say it's a very encouraging song because there is really no need to say good bye.

Saturday, 25 October 2008


i've got my hands on jay chou's latest album!! pardon my slackness this time round.. i'm usually very on-the-ball when it comes to this but it's still worth the wait. i pre-prdered it (the metal casing edition).. so i got the rubik's cube.


the cover design is awesome. strangely, it reminds me of edward scissorhand, final fantasy and 太王四神記(the korean fantasy drama with bae yong jun in it). serious.. just look at the outfit and background la.. haha, but the whole idea is cool. i thought he still managed to pull it off. this album is VERRRYY different. quite unexpected to hear such sounds from him but it was a brave attempt. still, it's an enjoyable listen! 兰亭序, 说好的幸福呢 and 稻香 are the ones i'm liking more now.

i sound like i'm not very excited about the album.. but in fact i am. i'm just tired.. that's all. service tomorrow.. jiayu asked (indirectly) if i want to sit with her.. so cute.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

thank You

pastor promised that this week's message will be 'triple-ly' awesome.. and it was. it reminded me of how God has indeed been so tremendously good to me. for the few that know, going to australia has been on my mind since i started my course. i've always thought about it, visualized it, believed it and confessed it (thanks to those who believed and confessed together with me).. not to mention praying and sowing. there were so many times when i wanted to give it up.. but thank God for faith, patience and friends who shared my dream. i'm now in the midst of preparation. if all goes well, i'll be flying off to aussie during the first week of February. *WOOT!*

i apologise for not being able to contain my excitement.. anyway, xenia called for a 'dress day', so my new dress(from our trip to city plaza) was the obvious choice.

n20 girls

rickson's 21st.

happy birthday to my dear also. it's finally the big 'TWO' zero.. yay!

cg had plans to hang out at timbre on saturday but the waiting time was insane due to the size of our crowd. so we proceeded to the cathay instead. no choice la.. hungry people are angry people. we did head back after dinner though. moxi and i intented to sleepover at xenia's.. part of the plan was to go timbre, so it was pretty inevitable that we went back. goodfellas were playing that night and i think they're qutie good. nice choice of songs.. oh, and the lead singer has one heck of a voice la. the drummer was entertaining too.. hee.

this is only a cover.. the erdinger was mine. ricky ordered ice lemon tea.

moxi & xenia (:

i know, so pretty right..

in the end, the sleepover wasn't really a sleepover. it was more like a movie marathon.. plus almost the whole cg(those who stayed till late) came over also. we reached xenia's place at around 3plus and i only managed to catch some shuteye at 6am. by the time i woke up, there was only me, rickson, jinlong and kelvin left. xenia made pancakes.. yay! then we slacked and watched some cheesy taiwan drama because of the rain. we did finally go out..

my craving for apple strudel on a restless sunday.. and i got it.

everything was well until i came back to office on monday. so much work for me.. especially today. arghh.. "i quit!!". not literally la.. i love my job, my bosses are cool.

i've been hunting for batgirl the past week but she's extinct already. ): went to try my luck at vivo's topshop on wednesday but to my MAJOR disappointment, they don't have her too. )): then my only other 'want' wasn't available in size 6. ))): well, mamma mia cheered me up slightly. (:

(i'm addicted to the soundtrack now)

it's still a good week so far. i find myself mostly in a pensive mood.. which is rather comforting to know. just glad that all the drama is over. thanks!

Friday, 17 October 2008


here's the many overdued pictures from eventful happenings of last week. met up with many girls..

first up, peiyan and deborah. they're my mg buddies.. thank God for them after beverley left. it's been about a year or two since i last saw them. py hasn't changed much but deboz.. i can barely recognise her la! and she wouldn't stop raving about l'arc en ciel (which reminds me, i have yet to check them out yet).

i never imagine just one year in japan could bring about such a drastic change. deboz is like some punk rock chick now.. (:

treat to sizzler's.

happy 21st birthday my dearest.

then there was our yearly tradition of raya-ing at hadh's. well, it only started officially last year.. haha! minah tried to play a good host. i say 'tried' because her family wasn't around.. so she got lazy la.. keep telling us to 'treat it as your own place'. haha! if her mum was in.. she'll be busy man. she didn't even wear her baju kurong la. we ended up renting vcds to watch that night.. haha, "awake". then mich and suling had to go.. but hadh and i continued and watched "she's all that".

mich started the photo-taking again.. haha.

(i look utterly ridiculous in this photo)

we can get a little retarded when we hang out..

green packets.. (which i later realised i didn't receive because it was already so late)

hadh loves my new shades too! (she still wanted to take photo with it just before i left)

this monday.. birthday surprise for charis.

shock seh!

forced to take a picture with her 'tiara'.

caught "eagle eye".. erm, i don't have very good comments about it just based on the fact that i fell asleep during the show.

i'm currently listening to the soundtrack of mamma mia, thanks to daniel. even though i have YET to watch the movie. i will soon.. erm, sunday perhaps. i want to do movie marathon again.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

so dumb

this will be a short one.. because i'm not in the best of moods. i feel quite dumb. hmm.. no, make that very dumb. to have known but yet still made the wrong decision. can't believe i fell for it.. literally. i really suck at this.. and i don't know why i screw it up all the time. if only it was easier.

there is one happy news to share though... AUSTRALIA. *beams* yes, i am going! this (and retail therapy on sunday) will take my mind off things for a while. (:

Thursday, 9 October 2008

i'm a superwoman

everywhere i’m turning
nothing seems complete
i stand up and i’m searching
for the better part of me
i hang my head from sorrow
state of humanity
i wear it on my shoulders
gotta find the strength in me

cause i am a superwoman
yes i am (yes she is)
still when i’m a mess
i still put on a vest with an “S” on my chest
oh yes, i’m a superwoman

for all the mothers fighting
for better days to come
and all my women
all my women sitting here trying
to come home before the sun
and all my sisters coming together
say “yes, i will”
“yes, i can”

cause i am a superwoman
yes i am (yes she is)
still when i’m a mess
i still put on a vest with an “S” on my chest
oh yes, i’m a superwoman

when I’m breaking down
and i can’t be found
and i start to get weak
cause no one knows me
underneath these clothes
but i can fly
we can fly

cause i am a superwoman
yes i am (yes she is)
still when i’m a mess
i still put on a vest with an “S” on my chest
oh yes, i’m a superwoman

awesome song. especially when you take a good listen to it. the music video is even more awesome! (:

random: on the bus to work this morning, a group of young malay punks came on board. nevermind that they were talking freaking loudly and occupying seats that they didn't need, they started playing music. i'm not being racist or anything. if it were a group of cheenapok bengs/lians, i'd comment likewise. thing here i find amusing is, they were singing along with the trash they were playing. hmm.. that's probably an understatement. they were singing ALOUD.. all of them! the first song was 'unforgettable'. it's some techno song.. in malay! never heard anything like it before.. haha. and it just went on and on. all the old people on the bus kept turning around and stare while "tsk-ing" them. HAHA! super funny la. i guess it wouldn't be so bad if they listened to peterpan or sheila on 7 but techno malay song.. tsk, i have nothing better to say.

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

series of (somewhat) unforunate events

to jeremy, my prayers goes to you and condolences to your family. it came as a shock even to me.. i can't imagine what his family is going through. well.. i'm at a loss for words actually. i guess there's really nothing one can do to prepare themselves for such a loss. it'll surely hurt.

read xiu's latest entry and it got me thinking. she puts things in quite an interesting perspective...

"getting into relationship is being too over thought
where people evaluates every little thing
even to the exact kind of thought or emotions they expect from one another
sometimes having unrealistic expectations
causing unnecessary disappointment
hence not getting into any relationship"

"i tink the key is about being balance la
those who just got to know
dun just take it as a contract
trust God to provide u the right person
dun need to rush into things de
give it a bit more time to get to know each other
"Love WILL stand through the test of time de"
as for those already know each other very long kind
stop tinking and evaluating too much and step out in faith"

well well.. i felt slightly convicted. in some ways, i consider too much. all in the name of 'for my own good'. i've regretted once, and now i sense i'm going to regret it again. it's all very déjà vu.. only that this time, there's still room for some change or progress. i hope.

Monday, 6 October 2008

my body hates me

it's the first sunday of a new month. morning run with fifthray as normal, only today.. i've reduced the distance to 6km in consideration of the dragonboat outing. serene came to help out and i sort of mentioned dragonboat to her. she's asking if i'm interested to row with her club. *hmmm* i'm actually quite keen about it. but fret not, i'm not going to end up with "arms bigger than your thighs". it's just for fun. good chance to get tanned too.. hee! (yes, that's actually one of my main objectives) i think my body hates me slightly after today. it's not good to neglect training. i need to clock up more mileage.. like a whole lot more! my first marathon is in less than 2 months time. woohoo! raya-ing is postponed to next week. can't wait to see my girls again. oh, and damien sort of hinted there's going to be a session of rockband.. i hope it's soon.

therapy and adrenaline work wonders. but now there's also other things to be concerned with. i can't ignore it even if i want to. funny thing is, it's always the same stuff, yet everytime.. i'll still be dumbfounded and not know what to do. they say you'll get it eventually. i think, if you're not sure or don't have the guts for it.. then let's not waste time 'learning'.

Saturday, 4 October 2008

retail therapy

went for yet another retail therapy and this session is not cheap. ): but the pleasure and comfort it brings.. sigh, how to not succumb? yea.. you didn't read wrongly, it's "yet another". previously bought 4 dresses and a skirt from emily. shades and a dress from forever21. then there was tanks and flip-flops from cotton on and leggings from topshop/dorothy perkins. now it's city plaza..

green skinnys. (YAY!!)

oh, there's another dress but i'll keep that for another time.

i shared with dajie about my slightly compulsive behaviour and promised to 'show' her my buys. so yea.. here's what i wore to church today.

my new buys:
cotton on top (it's only $5 la)
shades from f21

it's building fund season and pastor shared about getting out of debt. he shared one verse in the bible that went, "stupid people spend money as fast as they get it". then pastor told us to turn to our neighbour and say "he's not talking about me". rickson was on my left and he told me i got the guilty look (hmpf!). i admit i'm spending more because i have an extra source of income. however, i'm not stupid. i do set aside a sufficient amount for various things and i do budget when i shop. but yeah.. building fund again. time for breakthrough.

oh, i saw cheryl after service and i told her i've been wanting to buy one of her checkered dresses. she'll bring it for me next week. hmmm, last one.. i promise! (:

what if...

what if you should decide that you don't want me there by your side, that you don't want me there in your life?

what if there was no lie. nothing wrong, nothing right?

what if there was no time and no reason or rhyme?

what if i got it wrong and no poem or song?

could put right what i got wrong or make you feel i belong

how can you know it if you don't even try

every step that you take could be your biggest mistake

it could bend or it could break, that's the risk that you take

how can you know when you don't even try

you know that darkness always turns into light

suddenly i'm thinking about lots of 'what ifs'. it's like i'm regretting or unsure of my choice. i need to put everything on hold for now.. clear things up before i continue. i agree people don't set out to hurt other people. perhaps there is hurt because of the lack of understanding. miss one step along the way and things will turn out totally different. there's no turning back.. scary! give chance, take risk. God, i really need to learn.

"what if you should decide that you don't want me there by your side, that you don't want me there in your life?"

[words from 'what if' by coldplay]

Thursday, 2 October 2008

celebrate good times

everyone loves an occasion to celebrate. children's day, hari raya.. and oh, tim's birthday. it was kind of weird because the people at the party were mostly his close friends.. but t'was kind of him to invite me. the party was at keppel club and everybody was late.. including the birthday boy. andy, keith and i were the first to arrive...

soup was only $2.. cheap right?!

apple crumble VS 'coconut jelly'

huiying pangseh. sit with her mr boyfriend.. then ignore me. ):

'happy birthday to you...'

handmade cake by tricia.

birthday speech

"just 2 days ago was his birthday leh!"

'chicken rice uncle'